Guest post: Tiffany Hathorn ‘When having enough isn’t enough’

I’m so pleased to introduce my friend Tiffany Hathorn who is talking today about her take on the word “enough.”

First, let’s meet Tiffany:

When having enough isn’t enough

When Jamie shared that she was looking for guest posts to fit into her study of the idea of “enough,” I had several ideas. However the one that really resonated with me at the time was the difference between having “enough” and settling for “just enough.”

When one thinks of having enough, the usual image that comes to mind is of someone who is content with their lot in life. They have the things that they need, and are ok with that. Having ‘enough’ is a good thing.

Until it isn’t.

Sometimes having enough to get by is…well, enough. However, we often desire more. This can be said of several aspects of our lives.

We may have a job that doesn’t pay very much, but that pays us enough to get by. We have enough money to make ends meet, but there is never enough left over to save for the future or do anything that we WANT to do. All it does is cover the necessities.

We may have a job that pays us enough to do the things we need and the things we want. However, it may be just a job for us – not a passion. We have everything that we need – except for a sense of true purpose.

We may be in a relationship or marriage that is stable, but is lacking the passion that it used to have. We are content with the person, but wish that things could be a bit more exciting.

It is so easy to remain content with having ‘enough’. After all, you remind yourself, not everyone has even that much. However, for many of us, we know that deep down we want more. We don’t want to settle for just getting by. We want more out of life.

So what holds us back?

Not wanting to be greedy?

Not believing that we deserve more?

Not knowing where to begin?

Not knowing if we can actually achieve our goals?

Every year, I sit down and I assess my life. I look back over the past year and ask myself what I achieved. I look forward to the next year and ask myself what I want to achieve. Every single year, I have told myself that I wanted more and that I would achieve more.

However, this year, I had a tough realization. Maybe I have been telling myself that I want and deserve more, but haven’t really put in the effort to make it happen. I nurse big dreams, but don’t chase them down the way I should. I feel like a part of myself must have actually been a bit content with having ‘just enough’.

This thought was really eye-opening for me. Why? Because I really am NOT content. I DO want more. I deserve more and so does my son. So it is less about me being content with ‘enough’ and more about me settling for it. I have realized that I have been sabotaging myself in a variety of ways. The main way was through lack of consistent action.

So this year I am focusing on my own theme word. That word is ‘growth’. To expand upon it, I am focusing on growth through action.

I am no longer going to settle for ‘just enough’. I am going to actively work towards pursuing what I truly view as being ‘enough’.

Here are the three steps that I am taking to move from settling to having ‘enough’:

1. Developing an action-based plan for each of my goals. For example, right now I am working on developing a business plan for my freelance business as well as one for my blog. Although I have been freelancing for 3 years and blogging for 4.5 years, I have never taken the time to do this. Having these plans in place will help me to be proactive about my goals as well as make it easier to track my growth throughout the year.
2. Establishing a daily, weekly, and monthly routine for every aspect of my life. I will share that I am not a fan of schedules. I felt like the beauty of being a work-at-home mom was that I didn’t need one. I was my own boss and could do what I wanted, when I wanted. However, with being a boss comes the realization that structure is needed in order to have success. I can’t fly by the seat of my pants in life and expect to get very far. I need a routine in place that will help my life (and my son’s life) to flow more easily. Granted, I don’t plan out every single minute or second of my life, but it is helpful to have things planned out in advance. Strangely enough, this actually makes it a bit easier to be flexible. Since I already have things mapped out, if I need to readjust my day, I can simply look at my schedule to see what can be moved around.
3. Having accountability partners. I have a few people that I share my goals and plans with who also share theirs with me. It helps to have someone other than myself know what I am working on each week. I find that it can give me a mental kick in the pants when I know that someone else is watching me and expecting me to do certain things.
4. Reassessing my progress on a monthly basis. I will take time each month to look back at the previous month to see what I did right and what I can improve upon. I recently downloaded a time management tool called The Passion Planner. In it,Iam prompted to do a monthly reflection where I answer seven questions about the previous month:
   1. On a scale from 1-10, how do you feel overall about this past month?
   2. What was the most memorable part of this past month? Describe it.
   3. What were the biggest lessons you learned this month?
   4. Review your planner for the past month and assess your priorities. Are you happy with how you spent your time? If no, what steps can you take this next month to adjust them?
   5. How are you different between this past month and the month before it?
   6. What or who are you grateful for this past month?
   7. Name three things you can improve on this coming month. What are concrete actions you can take to work towards these improvements?

I think that these are great questions to reflect upon to help me to address any issues that I have as well as to focus on moving forward each month in a purposeful manner.

It is my hope for each of you that you truly have ‘enough’ in your lives rather than ‘just enough’. If you realize that you have been settling for less than you want and deserve, I urge you to come up with a plan to pursue what it is that you truly want, whatever that may be. Live a life of abundance! It is not a bad thing if you want your fill of passion, purpose, and peace.

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