Thursday September 14, 2006

Everything happens twice. First on the inside, then on the outside. You must create what you want inside your heart and mind before you can hope to see it in the world.
–Iyanla Vanzant

The very best way to design and shape your character and  personality is for you to act as if you were already the kind of person you would want to be.
–Unknown

These two quotes from my personal Web site are somewhat indicative of an exercise my new counselor wants me to do. The exercise he asked me to do is think about the problems I’m facing and imagine life without those problems. What would that life look like? What would I like life to be? Once we identify the goal of where I want to go, he will help me figure out the best way of getting there.

This exercise both excites and scares me. I’ve lived with the problems for so long that they are of course bothersome but at the same time a comfort. It’s as if I would rather choose the evil that I know than risk
the unknown. But I want to break free from that. I deserve a better life. That better life is within my
grasp, but it’s up to me to have the bravery to reach out and take that.

Another thing my therapist and I talked about is my food issues. He feels like I focus too much on it and wanted me to stop doing Fitday for a while because I’m paying attention to every bite that goes into my mouth. I told him that I have to monitor my carbs and protein for health reasons and it’s too hard to do without fitday. He
said we’d work on finding a balance. Balance is good.

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