Thursday May 21, 2009

Sunday morningafternoonish I woke up to find myself in a conundrum. I had a lot of internal conflict that seemed to just get more intense and more intangled the more it swam around in my head and my heart. I’m the type who needs to talk something out so I can sort it out for myself. I often answer my own questions just from my own outward talking (or blogging) about a given subject.

The trouble I found myself in was that I didn’t have anyone I could talk to about what was going on. Because of a minor “outer conflict”, I was not exactly in the mood to speak to my husband that day either, ha!

As I sat at the computer that day, I was letting the confusing and twirling thoughts and emotions consume me and I prayed that God would show me who I should talk to about everything. That’s when I tried to calm myself down by listening to music on YouTube in the background while I worked on my existing project. I find that often calms my spirit so I can at least concentrate at the task at hand.

That’s when I clicked on this song, “Cry Out to Jesus”. I knew I liked the song, but this time something (ahem, GOD) nudged me to really listen to the words.
Cry Out to Jesus

For those who don’t want to watch that, here are the lyrics (focus on the chorus):
To everyone who’s lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there’s nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

Chorus

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He’ll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

For the marriage that’s struggling just to hang on
They lost all of their faith and love
They’ve done all they can to make it right again
Still it’s not enough

For the ones who can’t break the addictions and chains
You try to give up but you come back again
Just remember that you’re not alone in your shame
And your suffering

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He’ll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

When your lonely
And it feels like the whole world is falling on you
You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus
Cry to Jesus

To the widow who suffers from being alone
Wiping the tears from her eyes
For the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He’ll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus
***

It was after I listened to this song about three times when it hit me. I had been asking God for someone with whom I could share my heart’s burden, but I wasn’t shutting up long enough for the answer. This song was like God was saying, “what am I, chopped liver? Talk to ME!”

I almost felt foolish. Why is God always the last one we (or at least I) sometimes think to go to? We go to him when things are going great or when things are so bad that we want him to fix something RIGHT NOW. But what about when we just need to talk?

It was a little weird talking the issue with God out in my head (I wasn’t in a place physically where it would have been appropriate to talk out loud, but that’s an awesome way to pray even when you’re by yourself). But it helped. For one thing, it was a good thing for me to show an act of obedience. I really struggle with that. I don’t really tell God no, I just take too long to figure out what he’s trying to ACTUALLY tell me sometimes because I’m too busy not letting God get a word in edgewise! But it was also amazing to see God show his faithfulness. Knowing that we can seek out our Heavenly Father for even stuff that is ultimately silly is just flabbergasting to me. The other cool thing was, it worked. Not that prayer is a magic pill for all that ails us, but pretty darn close! The issues weren’t fully resolved, but talking it out with God gave me enough clarity to get through my day, go home, make up with my husband and then talk the rest out with him. God handled the spiritual side of things and that opened the door for me to discuss the practical side of things with my husband. Together we were able to come up with a reasonable plan of action and I felt much, much better.

This whole idea of “crying out” to God is really not new. I had even heard some pretty inspiring thoughts about it at a recent prayer breakfast event I attended. One of the speakers, a leader in a local church’s women’s ministry, spoke about crying out to God after her husband was killed. She said that the circumstances may not be fixed in the way we think we want, but “nothing separates us from God.”
She also said something that I thought was an interesting mix of profoundness, scariness and free..ness:
“When we take the posture of crying out, we recognize that God is in control and we are not.”

Next time you’re struggling, don’t be afraid. Cry out to God. He will answer.

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