Please welcome Courtney to Jamie’s Thots! Courtney is another contributor to the ongoing Enough series. Here she talks about “when not enough is OK.”
As I was preparing dinner tonight I looked around my house and was disgusted with the state of it. Never mind I had been ill, febrile, and plastered to the couch for the past few days, all I could see was what needed to be done. The floor was covered in dog hair. The table was scattered with papers. My children needed bathed. Clothes laid around needing to be put up, and toys littered the floor. Not to mention, I would still have to do the dishes after dinner.
I realized that there was no way I was going to get everything done in the amount of time that I had pictured in my mind. I was annoyed with that thought, and kept saying to myself “You should be doing more.” Then, a small voice in my head said “What you are doing is enough.” That moment, I was doing what was important – preparing dinner. I was taking care of my family’s needs. That was enough. Everything else was extra credit.
Being a parent is already a tough job. Add to it the pressure of society telling you that what you are doing isn’t enough. You aren’t caring enough. You aren’t loving enough. You aren’t fun enough. You aren’t disciplining your children enough. You aren’t healthy enough. You aren’t good enough.
To this, I say:
Enough, society.
I’ve given you enough.
I don’t have enough.
Not being enough is OK.
It is ok to let the toys stay out a bit longer and leave laundry to get a little wrinkled.
It is ok to leave the dishes for the night.
It is ok to let the children bathe in the morning.
It is ok to take care of your family’s needs and not societies opinions.
It is ok.
What you are doing is enough.
Wow, Courtney, where is society when you need it?!
Someone should have been bringing you a bit of dinner, at least, and in the good ol’ days, someone would have brought a helping hand, too.
Sorry we don’t live closer. You could have called me and I would have helped.
Get well! 🙂
My house looks like a tornado blew through all the time. I can only do so much in a day, so I have ti prioritize. Cleaning up is not always a priority.
I don’t like the way society tries to dictate what we should do. You just have to do you.
Sometimes we drive ourselves crazy with everything having to be perfect. I’m a bit OCD (OK a lot), and I am very guilty of this. We just sometimes need to stop and smell the roses, everything will work out fine. Great post!
We can only do what we can do. God is not frowning on us if we are not keeping up with our house or giving our kids a bath everyday. He is the only one that matters, right?
I hear you. Sometimes we just have to stop thinking about what others might be thinking of us and carry on. It’s not always easy, but is always worth it.
Ugh, I feel like I never get help at all, and when I feel I’m on top of everything the kids just tornado through it all. We can only do what we can and the rest well, can wait.
Such a great reminder! We as parents put so much pressure on being perfect all the time and sometimes we need to just let things be!
Exactly right…and anyone who says otherwise, or judges you for your house not being spotless when you have happy children, should immediately be removed from your life! How you keep your house is your business, and if you are comfortable…then it is fine.
Interesting post. I’m glad you were able to express your feelings. Isn’t blogging awesome?
It can be so easy to get caught up in how things “should be” and get frustrated with how things actually are. If you spend all your time trying to change how you look, how your house looks, et cetera, then you’ll never be happy.
Yes! You can only do what you can do – and it’s crazy to worry about what anyone else thinks of it.
We sometimes put such unrealistic expectations on ourselves–to be perfect in every way, including having perfect homes.
This is really nice to think about. It seems like no matter what you do, there’s always something more to be done. Sometimes we just have to chill out!
There is always going to be something to do. We do need to just relax!
I so agree. I know that I have felt like that so many times in the past whether it was professionally or personally. There does come a point in time when you have to say you have done and given enough and you just need to be left to recover and re-energize.
All that matter is you think you’re enough. Enough said
I’m not even a mom yet & my condo’s a mess. I think it’s okay to let things get out of control once & a while 😛
I’ve felt the same as many of us have, obviously – I gave up networking offline for me so that I could re-focus on what made me feel comfortable in my world – But, my son is grown and that’s a lot easier on my own homework – bit hugs 🙂
It’s so hard feeling like we should be a certain way and do certain things. Urghh society.
I have to prioritize too. I prefer cooking healthy meals and getting the kids to help with cleaning
When i have a day that i feel like this i try to think of all the positives in my life. The house might be a mess but the kids are safe and happy.
As long as you have the confidence you need about how you run your home, what others say really shouldn’t matter. I know it’s easier said than done. I personally think order in your home is good for your general well being, but it’s a personal thing depending on the individual
I always have difficulty juggling the housework with my career and everything else that I do. I’m learning how to not feel so guilty about that and just do what I can.
A fever will wear you out too! I’m glad you didn’t overdo it, and instead knew that enough was really enough. 🙂
We have to be aware of our limits. Thanks for the reminder!