Saturday August 20, 2005

Ya’ll, I just need to vent. Well, I need to be in bed but my heart is breaking.

We were just told at work that our newspaper was bought out by another paper that we are in an alliance with. This means I will have a new employer as of Oct. 1 whether I like it or not. New insurance, new method of accounting for sick and vacation days, etc. The new insurance costs more per month out of our paychecks, which is more news I don’t need. I already don’t make enough to support myself. The one good (really good) thing is that my insurance deductible goes from $1500 to $400. I met my deductible this year by the second month so I know I can reach the $400, LOL.

On top of all this, I STILL have not heard back from the MMPI results. It will be three weeks on Tuesday since I took the darn thing. If I wasn’t crazy when I took it, the wait has nearly driven me there! I’ve called and called and called and they just keep saying they are working on it.

I am so worried about this darn process not going through. One good thing about the change over to the new company is that I can use my time off that I’ve accrued from my current company as long as I use it before Dec. 31. I’ve accrued four weeks so far. I’ve purposefully not taken too much time off so I would have plenty to use for the surgery.

I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should wait and risk the new company not paying for my surgery or what. It doesn’t seem like I have a choice because at this point with how the insurance is done with my surgeon and with his schedule, the earliest I could have the surgery at this point is like the second week of October. I had so wanted to have the surgery well before the holidays both for my own mental health and for my parent’s sake because the holidays are busy and then my dad has to go back to session in January.

HELPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everytime I even start to think about this I just cry. I sobbed in the bathroom at work and I’ve been crying off and on all night. Who knows, this could turn out to be a good change but right now I just feel so lost because it’s yet another snag, another delay. I’ve been working on this surgery very quietly since January and have been considering it for years. I just want it done. I want my life back.


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