This is copied in from my MySpace blog. I realized it had something to do with the surgery and my life afterwards so I’m posting it here:
hen we were kids how many times did your parents tell you to have a happy plate? Or that you needed to finish your food because there were starving kids in Africa?
Don’t forget the saying, waste not want not.
I learned these really well apparently. I hate to waste food or anything really. I’m a bona fide pack rat. When I was homebound for about a week after my accident, I started going through old files and found paid utility bill stubs from when I lived in Oklahoma nearly five years ago. Definitely not something I need.
This trait is something I’ve really used with food. I hate to throw food away because it’s wasteful. I sometimes eat something I don’t like just because I can’t stand the idea of throwing it away. I’ll even save food I have no real intention of eating “just in case”. Anyone want hickory flavored tuna, by the way?
I’m learning though, that if I don’t need or want food, it’s better for me to throw it away. For example, I still struggle with work/stress eating. Sometimes I’ll buy crap out of the machine or something (like baked chips) and start munching. Halfway through I’ll realize I don’t need or want it. I used to and still will often tuck it in my desk. The problem is, that makes it available for later and sure enough it gets eaten. But lately I’ve thrown some stuff away. I have to literally say to myself “I don’t need this shit”. It feels GREAT every time I do it. As stupid as that sounds, it is like I’m taking victory over my problem. I liken it to an alcoholic pouring out the rest of his or her drink.
Now if I could just learn to not waste my money and energy on buying food I don’t need.